Wow. So here we are. Blogging. Something I always had some degree of interest in,and yet just looked at other musings from afar. Sometimes with admiration (wow,thats a great blog,look forward to reading more) or some with disdain (what a ball of shit). But what I did appreciate from reading any blog, it showed that the person could get whatever they needed to get off their chest,whether I agreed with what was on that screen in front of me or not.

Last night I lay in bed at 2 a.m. wide awake. Listening to the letterbox beat off the door with the wind didnt help matters either. I've been in and out of sleep the last few months,mostly with worry. Worry about getting work, worry about being happy, stuff like that. It doesnt do much good for my recently prescribed hypertension either, as now whenever I have to go for an appointment, I have to wait a few minutes before my blood pressure goes down before anything is taken. Having a short fuse probably isnt the best thing to have tied in with this, but I am working on that every day. Trying to explain hypertension to some of the locals at home is by no means simple. One poor soul thought it caused me to get so mad I would "turn green" (his exact words). Bruce Banner I'm not I told him,sadly that reference was wasted on him too. Apparently Lou Ferringo and CGI blockbusters havent hit the sthicks yet. I am doing a course two nights a week in town to keep my brain ticking over. Tonight, I have an exam in philosophy that we have had a grand total of 8 hours of class time to prepare for it. So you can imagine how fun that is going to be. Some of the best advice I ever got was "shut up and get on with it" but that only sticks for so long. Also I once got the advice "Now,Paul, youre not stupid" but thats another story. I'll save that one for an uptempo writing. Might have to change a few names though.

More recently, something that really got my goat was the views on suicide and how some felt that it was a selfish act. I love Twitter 99.9% of the time, but fucking hell sometimes it can sadden me to the core to see what people have to say on it and how they can be so pig ignorant towards it, that they can make a mockery of it and dont have any regard towards other peoples feelings. I suppose it hits me a bit more as I lost my brother to suicide 12 years ago. Does it play on my mind sometimes. Of course. Does it get to me? Absolutely. Do I shut down the odd time? I wouldnt be human if it didnt. Dont get me wrong, there are some genuine souls on Twitter, some I have had the pleasure of meeting, but some fuckers think they can be Big Billy Bollix behind a keyboard. That Jeremy Clarkson is another waster after what he said the other day. I was never a fan of him before that but now I have no time for him.

I apologise if this offended or changed anyones views on me,but this is who I am. Who you see on Twitter is the exact same person,no alterations or anything,just when I need to say something, I can rant and rave non-stop,usually at someone who doesnt deserve it. But they listen, and thats such an important trait. Its good to talk,regardless whether something is getting you down, relationship issues, anything. Just as long as someone is there to listen, its half the battle. A problem shared, and all that. If you got down to this point, then I genuinely thank you. I'm sorry it wasnt the usual Boots smarthole pisstaker you may know, but sometimes you just have to say whatever is in your head. Now to try and get an exam question memorised. Thanks again.