O hai blogger land occupants, it's me again. I really should be cracking on with my History essay, but its not due for another week so procastination wins out yet again. I said I would write a few lines (which will probably turn into a few paragraphs) about a hero of mine. I do have a couple who may get the Boots blog appreciation society treatment at later dates, but I felt this one had to be put to bed now.
Steven Seagal.
No, that is not a typo and your PC/laptop/smartphone screen does not to be adjusted in any way, shape or form.
Now I know there are bound to be a few of ye scratching yer heads going "Oh good Jaysus". That is one side of the spectrum I'm seeing. On the other side, I'd imagine, there are the "Who's Steven Seagal" brigade. And ya know what? Thats ok too! No really it is! Really......:(
Okay, quick history lesson (ironically what I should be really doing right now..but I digress..)
Steven Seagal was the "go-to" guy if you wanted someone for your late 80's - early 90's action flicks. Think Jason Statham with a pony tail and an American accent. Oh and a scowl if shit is about to go down. Oh and a smarthole remark when he has the upper hand. He came into prominence with Nico and Marked for Death, but 1991's Out For Justice has to be his finest hour. Where else could you see badassery like this?
I'll bet ye are all now championing the acting prowess that is Steven Seagal after seeing that clip. No? Sure? Sure yer sure? Ok was worth a try anyway. I love that film so much that I have it on DVD,Ipod,Iphone,Blu-Ray,you name it. Yes I do get out from time to time. But if you want to watch a film where you are actually rooting for the villian with minutes to go, then that is the film for you. I wouldnt steer you wrong. Really, I wouldnt!
Myself and one of the lads go socialising and sooner or later, the conversation turns to one of a Seagalistic (I just made up a new word) nature. We discuss how Seagal hasnt really evolved...more devolved. You see, our Stevo discovered the use for stunt doubles when he got extra portly, so you could be watching Submerged (starring Carla out of Coronation Street and Vinnie Jones, where they have to fight mind controlled soldiers on a submarine. Oh and there's an alien race that come down from the sky and are mad about something. I'm not making this up.) and then wonder how Seagal gained 5 stone in 5 seconds. No need for George Lucas for that epic.
Then there was Shadowman. It was so bad I am not going to even comment on it.
Then there was Out Of Reach, where Seagal has to rescue his teenage Polish penpal from a human trafficking organisation. I am serious, that was the main plot of the film. It has the most ridiculous end montage...I wont spoil it but it is major "Shake My Head" territiory.
Oh did I mention his accent changes halfway through movies for no apparent reason? The man could be fighting aliens or drug cartels or whatever and then could break out the Cajun "Lawd have mercay" before his stunt do...I mean,before he starts cracking some heads. The Cajun accent did have some substance, as he brought out two blues albums with it (Songs From The Crystal Cave and Mojo Priest,availabe where all records are sold..err..maybe not) and his own reality show Lawman, where he is a deputy Louisiana sherriff. For reals.
Steven Seagal. Actor, Artist, Real life po-po. Whats not to like? Ok I'll stop now...but not without 1990's films most quotable line. Guaranteed to make you go "OOOOOOOHHHHHH" afterward!
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