Short blog today, will be succint as hell.
Last Tuesday, I did something I havent really done in over 12 years. I systematically broke down. And in front of probably in front of my harshest critic, my sister. We were arguing over the merits of Christmas and just general sibling squabbles, when something just came over me. I recalled the stories I had been hearing over the last few days on the news, and Liveline and all the shit in the papers about how people are being left hard-up, and family tragedies that are happening around this time. For some reason, and one I still cant truly explain, I loaded up all those terrible things those people must be going through onto my own personal tribulations...and obviously when you do that, something has to give. What gave was all those issues winning over..and a combination of me freaking out over them and breaking down at the same time. Not something I want to go through again any time soon, but maybe it was a small blessing in disguise as I reckon that was subconciously building up for quite some time. We talked about things afterward for a while and left it at that.
I make it a priority to tell my sister that I love her,every so often. Just so she knows. We dont broadcast it every day, but its good that she knows. Tell a family member or someone close that you love them today. They will appreciate it. It might sound soppy, but at least you got it out.
"For some reason, and one I still cant truly explain, I loaded up all those terrible things those people must be going through onto my own personal tribulations" --- It's called empathy Bootsy, and I wish more people had it. Especially with your own personal loss, that's something that will never go away, you just learn to survive it. As someone who almost died by my own hand a long, long, long [decades here] ago, I can only agree with you. Tell someone you love them, you care, and that you will listen when they need you. Absolutely. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThis time of year is when people who have lost the ones they love feel it a little more... the smallest thing seems to be magnified and you catch yourself thinking all kinds of thoughts that normally wouldn't even cross your mind... and the added pressure of the 'silly season' and everyone must feel jolly... join in or be left behind... then you take that split second and tell yourself to cop on ... there's plenty more people out there 10 times worse off than you are... you tell yourself you've got your health.. a roof over your head... but you can't help but think of the 'what if's" and "if onlys" ... and inside you feel like screaming ... 'what about me?'... and you feel so selfish and self indulgent... traits that you know aren't the real you... and you feel like you're not even in your own skin.. life's not like a Christmas card... there's a lot of sadness behind the smiles out there... and you're right... people need to hear they are loved... tomorrow won't come to everyone and the regrets you might have tomorrow can be so easily fixed by a simple 'I love you' ... 'you mean a lot to mean me' ...'I'm here for you'... even though they already know it... they need to hear it out loud... it can make all the difference... great post... *hugs*
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