After tales of Marc Anthony part 1,(the last blog,if you havent read it,1) this one will make next to no sense and 2) Where have you been?!) I wondered if we (or I) could get more mileage out of his crazy wacky day to day tenure. And I figured,why yes,yes I could. He makes Walter Mitty look like Jason Bourne,for fuck sake. Invisible Golf Champion is a good place to start. No that's not a typo. Invisible Golf Champion. Let me explain.
Marc figured himself as a Darren Clarke (or in this case,Happy Gilmore) and would sometimes neglect his work space and pretend to sink a (his words) 100 yard putt - yes,100 yards - into the hole. You know the guy that would lift the flag/stick away as the ball is about to go in? We had one of those too. Invisible,naturally. Marc must've thought he was on St.Andrews. More like Andrews Antacid. We even gave him a (visible) Green Jacket after he had the 18th hole spectators in raptures. Only when his 'victory speech' included references to Declan Nerney and Brillo pads did we start to have a cause for concern..
He then would tell us the tale of how his daughter was a lifeguard in Portugal and saved a drowning Japanese boy by talking German to him. Sounds logical I know. Where were the child's parents I hear you ask? Well,as Marc once said:
"Now lads,I don't know if you know this,but there is a place called...a public house..where they serve copious amounts of alcohol. And I am later led to believe..that the child's parents..were in the public house..and they were...I don't know if you've heard this phrase..but they were "well on".The parents were probably from the Ukraine or something. Big shout out to my homeboys Andrei and Sergei by the way.
Marc Anthony did not like it when he was proved wrong and after telling us that green fees at the K Club cost an extortionate amount of money (€85,000 for the day I think the figure was) I rang them up and got quoted €150 from May to September. He instantly figured this was the K Club on Planet Neptune that I called..I was going to counteract and say how much credit it would have cost me to ring another PLANET but I just shook my head at the notion. This is the same guy that once told a young English lad at Woodstock that he should shorten his name of James to Jimi,remember. Oh and when his workmate upstairs got fired after one day on the job for reading other colleagues emails to see what they were saying about her. And then there was the story of him taking his satellite dish off the side of the wall and using it as a wok and a dustbin lid.
You'll be surprised to hear that I haven't heard from him in the last few years..but what an apt little ditty to finish up with:
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